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Have Your Way With Words

$1,999.00

Learn how to write more entertaining copy. You too can have your way with words.

  • Write disarming and entertaining copy.
  • Use a wide range of joke formulas to misdirect readers, leading to smirks, smiles, and laughs.
  • Use rhetorical devices and other stylistic devices to add punch to every line you write.
  • Write blog posts, emails, social media content, social media adverts, satirical content and more…
  • Add your own personality and build your own distinct style of writing.
  • A whole range of exercises to help you become a more competent and confident writer.

Plus a pack of templates for writing articles, satire, cold pitches, social media ads, broadcast emails, and social media content that entertains, educates, and sells.

Category:

Description

WARNING: This page is deceptively honest, containing a complete lack of the usual elements any competent marketer would include to cajole you into TAKING ACTION NOW.

Well, I may be a marketer, but I’ll be damned if anyone calls me a competent one!

I’ve been involved in the world of digital business for 18 years. In that time, people have often told me I’m not doing the things “the right way”, and for exactly the same amount of time, I’ve been taking no notice.

Welcome to what is allegedly the sales letter for my disarming copywriting course, Have Your Way With Words.

I’ve been putting off writing this damned thing.

I think it’s because I’m afraid it’s not gonna work.

My plan is to write a landing page devoid of hype. I want to tell the truth and nothing but the truth, and a few jokes because I have a problem. I can’t resist. I have a sickness!

And if this honest page doesn’t work, I’m going to be faced with the reality, that you, the customer, deep down, isn’t sold on honest sales letters.

You want hype.

You want me to say something like:

Imagine if you could write copy so disarming, entertaining and captivating, that people will respond to your cold emails, share your delectable content, and have strangers and strange friends alike come up to you in the street and ask:

“Oh my gosh, Cornelius*, When did you become such an incredible writer?! Is there some kind of online course or something you took? You can really tell the difference! Money well spent!”

*For best results, change “Cornelius” to your own name when picturing the above scenario.

I can’t do it. I can’t write hypey copy.

I’d rather beat my skin wafer thin with a meat tenderiser… and I’m absolutely terrified you’re going to force me into it. So here we are. I’m violating pretty much every possible rule for writing sales letters with reckless abandon, hoping you’ll summon the courage to join me on this rebellious journey. And by “join me on this rebellious journey”, I mean “hand me your hard earned money as soon as possible without hesitation.”

Ok. Enough frivolity and prevaricating for a moment…

I guess I should tell you what this course is all about.

Would you like that?

“yeah, I guess so” I hear you SCREAM!

This course will help you become a more entertaining writer.

You don’t have to change who you are.

You don’t have to become silly or contrived.

You can be yourself and use what you learn to create your own style that is congruent with who you are.

This is a skill that will complement every other skill you have.

This skill isn’t one that’s ‘nice to have’.

It’s a MASSIVE unfair advantage over the competition.

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Everyone is creating content these days…

There’s so much noise.

Substance is important.

But it’s style that separates you from the pack…

Form follows function. Style follows substance.

People will listen to your ideas if you can write copy that your audience enjoys reading.

You’ll be able to mash the right keys on your keyboard and make potential customers across the globe smirk, smile, or laugh out like a crazy person.

In this era of social media, being able to get and maintain people’s attention is an incredibly valuable skill.

A skill that enables you to give others a nice feeling even if they are thousands of miles away.

A skill that makes people remember you.

A skill that makes those same people tell their family, friends and mortal enemies about whatever it is you’re working on.

That’s powerful. And achievable.

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Have Your Way With Words is the rebellious maverick of copywriting courses…

There are plenty of wonderful direct response or general copywriting courses out there.

This course is different and by “different”, I don’t mean “I’m desperate for a USP and ‘different’ is the best thing I can come up with”. The content is discernibly different.

You won’t find a program like this anywhere else. I’ll show you how to combine elements and insights from a wide range of disciplines including comedy, fiction, and speechwriting to stand out in the world of business.


WARNING: Do not buy this product if:
  1. You’re someone who says things like “Word of advice: You should be more professional” without a hint of parody.
  2. You think smiling, laughing, or making feeling people feel good are vastly overrated. (See point 1.)
  3. You’re foaming at the mouth with rage because I conflated point 2 with point 1.
  4. You loathe truth in marketing and advertising.
  5. You believe blandness is a quality deserving of reverence.
You should probably buy this product if:
  1. You’re not an utter cockwomble like those I’ve described above.
  2. You hate the fact that when you get in front of a keyboard, you become the most boring, humourless, bland person imaginable and want to change this.
  3. You’d like to add moxie, oomph, cheek, spunk, swagger, sass or chutzpah to your copy.
  4. You want to have a MASSIVE unfair advantage over your competition by being able to write copy that stands out.
  5. You want the world of business communications to be more human, honest and enjoyable for all.

Which side are you on?

Course Contents

Access to every training session:
  • Module 1: The Fundamentals of Comedy.
  • Module 2: Formulas That Produce Funny.
  • Module 3: Spice Up Your Copy.
  • Module 4: Creating Your Own Style.
  • Module 5: How To Write For Different Media Types.
  • Module 6: Writing Exercises.

Template Pack:

  • Articles That Amuse.
  • Strategic Satire.
  • Cold Pitches That Don’t Absolutely Suck.
  • Palatable Social Media Ads.
  • Broadcast Emails That Don’t Make You Hate Yourself.
  • Social Media Content That Sells Without Sleaze.
  • Social Media Content That Entertains and Educates.

Private One to One Coaching:

Access to Jon for 3 months over email and messenger.
Jon will pester you in hilarious and unusual ways to get you to practice your craft!
Three 1-2-1 Skype / Zoom Sessions with Jon.

“WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET TO THE PRICE, JON?!? HURRY UP! I HAVEN’T GOT ALL FAFFING DAY.”

Alright, pottymouth.

As you wish…

£1495.

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Testimonials

I have a ton of testimonials relating to my other courses. This is a new program, so I hope to include your testimonial here soon.

However, here are a few I feel relevant. Only one is completely fabricated. I’ll leave you to figure out which one this is.

Finally, my secret weapon.

If this smug sales letter hasn’t convinced you should purchase Have Your Way With Words by now, the following video should do the trick.BE WARNED: It contains a plethora of subtle mind control tricks that would persuade even the most ardent cynic to open their wallets.

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