Need more leads?

More amiable clients?

More ways to get prospects to talk to you?

My Cold Open Template Pack is 100% on opening cold pitches... 

And it's on sale at a huge discount now.

I wanted to create a pack that finds more ‘ways in’. Different reasons to get in touch. Different hooks. Different opening lines, closing lines, calls to action, and all the juicy bits in between.

And dare I say it, more daring, creative, and interesting approaches.

Enter the Cold Open Template Pack.

This pack is for you if:

  • You're a freelance professional and you need more leads and more amiable clients.
  • You're an agency owner or b2b supplier and you would like more ways to get prospects to talk to you.
  • You want to add more weapons to your lead generation arsenal.


With one of Jon’s templates, my first cold email got forwarded to the marketing manager by the gatekeeper 😂


Let's get right down to business...

What's In The Pack?

  • When you dial down the absurdity a little; I’ve included a more succinct, less silly (but still charming) email to send prospects.
  • A ridiculously honest cold pitch for when you have loads of knowledge - but no experience. Solving the old ‘experience’ dilemma, while making playful fun of it for your own persuasive benefit.
  • Moving from working in the corporate world to becoming a freelance consultant. This cold pitch helps you get responses from old colleagues, suppliers, and clients.
  • Offering a brainstorm or audit for the deliberately attention-demanding price of just $1. This diabolically cheeky cold pitch will get attention - and responses.
  • Sending to prospects who’ve been in the news, for good or ill.
  • Messaging prospects who have posted something interesting recently on LinkedIn.
  • Targeting prospects on Instagram through email or DM.
  • Book introductory meetings with local prospects at a bar of your choosing.
  • Getting your little toe in the door with a curious cold pitch that introduces yourself without a blatant pitch in the first message.
  • A fawning, gushing email to send to your absolute dream clients that they will struggle to ignore.
  • Getting the attention of prospects in a niche where you have vast experience.
  • Generating responses from local businesses by messaging their Facebook Page.
  • Getting work when you’re just starting out. This cold pitch offers simple, easy to create audits or consultancy documents for free (*gulp*) when starting out, so you can build up some social proof (to help you sell stuff for money!)
  • Offering your services in exchange for a product, a ticket to an event, or anything else you have your eye on.
  • Responding to a LinkedIn post a prospect has made with a comment, and then a follow-up direct message.
  • Introducing yourself to blue-collar businesses (who are often more suspicious of professional marketing / sales / advertising types) that builds rapport and trust.
  • Getting in touch with individual client contacts who've left their position at your client’s company to work elsewhere.

Want access to all of these templates?

They're available for a short while at a silly discount...

£1,299 £99

Oh you think we are done..?! Not even close!

You also get the following irreverent and effective templates:

  • A WAY OVER THE TOP cold messaging sequence to send to prospects entitled “THE TOP 5 REASONS YOU SHOULD WORK WITH ME” - This can be personalised if your prospect has sufficient information on their public social media profiles.
  • A daring, stark, and hilariously desperate cold pitch that most people won’t send but that just might work.
  • A comical cold pitch containing hilarious copy, and a blatantly photoshopped picture of you and the client.
  • A fun message to send to prospects when you’re procrastinating on other more boring work.
  • A personalised invitation and follow-up message to send prospects on LinkedIn based on their profile - and their recommendations.
  • A sweet message to send companies of which you’re a regular customer / loyal advocate.
  • A charm-soaked message to send to gatekeepers, to cajole them into mentioning you to their boss.
  • A delightful message to send someone you look up to for mentoring in a way that stands out and gets a response.
  • A sweet but confident message for getting the attention of companies with marketing campaigns you personally enjoy.
  • An audacious craigslist post offering your services to local businesses in your area.
  • A provocative job board ad you can post to win copywriting leads.
  • A disarming direct message to respond to jobs posted on LinkedIn or Facebook.
  • A “buddy-buddy” cold pitch to send to prospects who run Facebook ads or Google AdWords campaigns that really should be improved.
  • A new & improved (and more succinct) cold pitch to send to invite yourself onto podcasts.
  • A fun social media post in the form of a job advert that’s actually an amusing pitch for your ideal client.
  • A ridiculous opening gambit where you go way overboard on the personalisation of your message, mocking the ridiculous amount of information you’ve been able to assemble from your social media sleuthing.
  • A yet further amusing opening gambit to send to prospects who have little to no information on their social media platforms.
  • A gutsy cold pitch that combines copy and a brief introductory video of yourself.
  • An alluring letter to send to entire departments at businesses you’d like to do business with.


Jon dude. I love the Cold Open Template Pack  finally decided to jump the gun. Totally worth it, I've been laughing for the past 20 minutes while reading them. Can't wait to try em out!!


Want access to all of these templates?

They're available for a short while at a silly discount...

£1,299 £99

OH MY...

PLUS you get all these bonuses!


How To Laser Target Your LinkedIn Prospecting

This brief yet practical training runs through some of the key search filters available with a LinkedIn Sales Navigator subscription, and how you can use them to better target your cold pitches, and write messages that will more strongly resonate, and thus be more likely to generate a response.


Instagram B2B Sales Mini Guide

This ebook runs through how to set your Instagram profile to best generate opt-ins and leads.

BONUS 3: Daring Direct Mail Approaches Swipe File

An assortment of clever, creative, and daring direct mail campaigns you can use to inspire your own effective campaigns.

Does this stuff work?

Ohh yes it does:

It can work for you too:


Wanted to share some BIG wins I've just had (thanks in large part to Jon Buchan's templates for opening the conversations).

Just closed a $20k 3-month deal in the SaaS space that I've been working on for a couple weeks, and have 3 more pitches to do over the next week for $25-50k pilot program deals.

Also got my prospecting and appointment setting process down to a T after 'charming' up my messaging to really resonate with my niche.

Now generating close to 15 discovery calls a week in the tech space, and just did discovery calls with the CTO at ActiveCampaign and a $500M/yr IT company using LinkedIn and cold email.

This sh*t works! Take what Jon has, but your own spin on it, and fire away 😛



Just wanted to thank Jon for all his ideas here. Tried my first two cold e-mails. I got an out of office back from one of them, but the other person answered within an hour!

And the answer was POSITIVE and played along with my joke! This was the chief of communications for a huge company answering a silly e-mail from a small local marketing company.

Have you solved life, Jon??



Y'all.. this is an unsolicited review of the Charm Offensive Email templates.

I bought the templates 30 minutes ago.

Sent an email out 15 minutes ago.

Got a response 2 minutes ago.

Jon Buchan, if you wouldn't consider this creepy, I could KISS you right now. You are amazing as hell.

These. Templates. Work.


What are you waiting for?

Start getting results like these straight away...

£1,299 £99


Finally got the courage to use the template on a cold email and BOOM!!! I have a call booked for tomorrow. It works!! THANK YOU!!


JON BUCHAN  //  Founder, Charm Offensive

A good few years ago, I was desperate for sales after my word of mouth work dried up.

I got hellishly drunk one night and wrote a completely absurd cold email. I was still tipsy the next morning and decided it was still a good idea to send it to pretty senior Marketing Directors at big brands.

To my astonishment, it worked. I got the most amazing complimentary responses and requests for calls/meetings, from senior decision makers at RedBull, Pepsi, Symantec, Hewlett-Packard, HSBC, Barclays and countless other global brands. Symantec and Hewlett Packard became clients.

All because of a crazy cold pitch.

I decided to start teaching others my unorthodox approach to cold pitching. People listened to my weird advice and found that it worked for them, too.

That's what Charm Offensive is all about: getting the attention of busy people.

Jon Buchan

Copyright 2020 Logical Absurdity Ltd T/A Charm Offensive.