Do you need to win new clients?

If so, read on.

I ran a digital marketing agency and about a year in, my word of mouth leads dried up.

I was desperate for sales and I dealt with that in the only way us Brits know how… I got blind drunk.

… In that time, I decided to write the most absurd cold email I could.

I was still tipsy enough in the morning to think it was a good idea to send my email to Marketing Directors, CEOs and other senior people at some of the world’s largest brands and corporations.

To my amazement, it worked.

Take a look at these screenshots.

These are the result of a my desperate, drunk cold email.

There’s more where that came from. I’ve saved them all. This might show my insecurity somewhat!

I’ve met with senior decision makers at RedBullPepsiSymantecHewlett-PackardCiscoHSBCBarclays, and countless other global brands, exciting start-ups and SMEs.

It turns out B2B doesn’t have to mean Boring-2-Boring!

Take a look…


I’ve used this same style to get senior editors at large publications such as Yahoo BusinessEntrepreneur.comInc.comChannel4 NewsThe IndependentTime Magazine, and many more to respond to me and publish my clients’ content.

The screenshot below is from the former editor of Venture Beat, Dylan Tweeney.

This tech publication gets millions of visitors per month.

I needed to get my biggest client, Symantec, some PR coverage.

We would have lost them as a client otherwise.

I went into work on a Saturday morning and sent Dylan an email.

It worked.

We got the coverage we needed.

A few years later, I was messaging Dylan on Skype and he sent me this message.

He remembered my pitch – even after 4 years!

I’ve used it to invite myself onto podcasts such as Kevin Rogers’ “The Truth About Marketing” podcast.

I’ve used it to get people to my clients’ events and seminars.

I’ve used it to help my friends get as many job interviews as they need.

Back in March last year, I started my Facebook Group, Charm Offensive, and started showing people my weird way of generating opportunities whenever I wanted.

Here’s a few more screenshots for you.

This time let’s show some results from people who took my advice…

You can get results like these.

And you can get them immediately.

Just grab my templates.

Start using them.

Start waking up to an inbox full of compliments and new opportunities.

Introducing My B2B Magic Charming Copy Template Pack

In business, we have to make a lot of asks.

My brand new b2b magic charming template pack can help you make those asks in the most effective way possible.

This pack includes effective templates for:

  • Booking sales calls & meetings with even the busiest, most senior contacts.
  • Inviting yourself onto podcasts that your audience listens to.
  • Reconnecting with old clients to try and get repeat business.
  • Getting the attention of influencers to promote you or your clients products, or just to make yourself known.
  • Following up with a prospect hasn’t replied to your proposal, without seeming ‘pushy’ or desperate.
  • Sending direct messages on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Instagram that stand out and get responded to.
  • Following up with prospects you’ve met at events, seminars, or meet ups.
  • Booking as many job interviews as you need.
  • Contacting journalists for link building, PR, or content marketing purposes.
  • Inviting prospects to your events, seminars, and meet ups.
  • Breaking the ice with potential partners with the aim of developing mutually beneficial relationships, e.g. You may run a digital marketing agency and wish to partner with a design agency so you can refer clients to each other.
  • Arranging interviews with sought-after experts in your industry.
  • Booking yourself speaking engagements at key events.
  • Retaining more clients with a monthly ‘How are we doing?” email.
  • Sending that final ‘break up’ email of your sequence that charms even the busiest, most reluctant prospect into replying.
  • Dealing with the response “What will it cost?” when you need far more information to be able to put a quote together.
  • Getting your foot in the door in new niches where you have no experience or case studies to support you.
  • The Invoice Chasing Email – Use this email for when a client STILL hasn’t paid your invoice. There are two versions of this email. One for smaller businesses with no accounts department and one for larger businesses with enormous impenetrable accounts departments.
  • The Cross Sell Email – For charming your clients into pursuing other services you offer.
  • The Upsell Email – Persuading your clients to spend more money with you by buying more time or offering a higher level of service
  • The Retainer Email – For convincing clients they’d be better off on retainer, rather than working on a project to project basis.
  • The “Crazy Idea” Email – For asking your clients to consider a ‘crazy’ idea you have that would help them achieve their goals.
  • The “Change of Strategy” Email – For when a campaign hasn’t gone as well as you’d expect. You did everything you needed to, but the results aren’t as you’d like. Use this email to inform your client and suggest a new direction.
  • The “I Messed Up” Email – Not every campaign can go well. Sometimes, we are at fault. Use this email to proactively own up and suggest ways to improve the situation.
  • The Webinar Invite Email – A humorous, ‘non-hype’ email that convinces the recipient to register for your webinar.
  • The “Thank You For Being Awesome” Email – Use this email to reward your best employees, freelancers and suppliers for when they’ve gone above and beyond what’s expected.
  • The Two Punch Combo – A template for an unusual direct mail piece and a follow up email. This method is extremely effective for getting the attention of busy prospects who are inundated with emails.
  • The LinkedIn Invite / Follow Up Message Combo – A template to use for sending entertaining LinkedIn connection requests that a follow up disarming direct message.

Value: £99

In a transparent effort to entice you further, I’ve added in 5 bonus templates at no additional cost. 

  • A ridiculously honest cold pitch for when you have loads of knowledge – but no experience. This solves the old ‘experience’ dilemma, while making playful fun of it for your own persuasive benefit.
  • A fawning, gushing email to send to your absolute dream clients that they will struggle to ignore.
  • Offering a brainstorm or audit for the deliberately attention-demanding price of just $1. This diabolically cheeky cold pitch will get attention – and responses.
  • A charm-soaked message to send to gatekeepers (such as executive assistants), to sweet talk them into mentioning you to their boss.
  • A personalised message to send to prospects based on their LinkedIn recommendations.

Download my proven effective templates:

£1254 / £120

$1614 / $155

So how does this work?!

Here is a little sample. I taught ChatGPT my ‘Funny Unsubscribe’ technique and asked for some more examples.

Here’s what it came out with. These are for cold pitching but the pack will contain prompts for all of the different media types mentioned above.

I also taught it my “Funny Follow Up” technique.

Here are some versions of this line:

Some of these genuinely made me smile and laugh! It can create unlimited versions of these techniques now.

These are just two of the techniques you’ll find in this pack. It contains a huge variety of different formulas I’ve used across a wide array of my effective templates. 

Once you’ve taught ChatGPT all these techniques, you’ll have a vast array that you can add to your cold pitches, emails to your list, social media content, social media ads, and other content where you want to make your audience smirk, smile, or belly laugh.

Exciting times!

Special Offer For Kim Krause Schwalm’s subscribers

This Special Offer Expires at 1159PM on Thursday, May 23rd, Pacific Time

$899 / $199

Order Bump: Scroll-Stopping AI Image Training

At checkout, you can add this to your order for a Special Launch Offer Discount.

Dall-E is the AI image generator that you get with GPT Plus. 

Armed with this, you can create vibrant images that demand attention. 

My brother and business partner, Gary, created a Charm Offensive Brand Image Generator. This means all the images we create use the Charm Offensive brand colours and uses a ‘trippy’ style that stands out from all of the other stuff they’re seeing in their feed.

This bonus training will show you how to set up your own custom GPT so you can create images that:

1. Stand out and stop people scrolling.

2. Have a consistent colour scheme and style that matches your brand colours / themes.

3. Once you have your audience’s attention, they can then read the entertaining and charming copy you’ve generated using the prompts and templates in the pack. BOOM!

Here’s an image I created I created a few weeks ago:

In this example, I wanted to create an image to promote the pack I’m selling to you right now.

It shows a man in his office, laughing loudly while using The Charming AI Pack 2.0. His loud chortling has awoken his wife, who’s peering round the door to see what all the palava is about.

I’m using this image and others I’ve generated for the organic social media posts and Facebook Ads to promote the pack to my warm audience. 

It’s an exceptional tool when used well. 

This training will show you all you need to know to make exceptional images that grab the attention of your audience.

Special Offer For Kim Krause Schwalm’s subscribers

This Special Offer Expires at 1159PM on Thursday, May 23rd, Pacific Time

$899 / $199

Questions and helpfully, answers:

Who is this for?

Anyone that wants to add charm and humour to their sales copy and social media content. While the cold pitching section is strictly for B2B usage, the rest of the pack can be used for both B2B and B2C.

What do people get wrong when using AI to generate funny lines?

One of the main issues I’ve found is people add too much humour to their copy.

It should be used as a spice rather than the main ingredient. If you add too much, people won’t know whether to take you seriously or not. It also gets too predictable and thus, less funny. 

This pack will provide you with completed examples of content, alongside the prompts needed to generate funny lines that will be relevant to your discipline, sector, and offer. 

I don’t know how to write funny copy. Is this for me?

Yes. This pack will help anyone add humour and charm to their sales copy and social media content. 

What do I need to get started?

You need to sign up to ChatGPT. And to buy this pack. And some time to actually read the ebook and then experiment for yourself.

For the bonus AI Image training, you’ll need access to Dall-E. You can get this with a GPT Plus subscription which costs $20 per month.

When will the back be ready?

This pack is ready now! You’ll receive download links as soon as your order is complete.

Special Offer For Kim Krause Schwalm’s subscribers

This Special Offer Expires at 1159PM on Thursday, May 23rd, Pacific Time

$899 / $199

JON BUCHAN  //  Founder, Charm Offensive

A good few years ago, I was desperate for sales after my word of mouth work dried up.

I got hellishly drunk one night and wrote a completely absurd cold email. I was still tipsy the next morning and decided it was still a good idea to send it to pretty senior Marketing Directors at big brands.

To my astonishment, it worked. I got the most amazing complimentary responses and requests for calls/meetings, from senior decision makers at RedBull, Pepsi, Symantec, Hewlett-Packard, HSBC, Barclays and countless other global brands. Symantec and Hewlett Packard became clients.

All because of a crazy cold pitch.

I decided to start teaching others my unorthodox approach to cold pitching. People listened to my weird advice and found that it worked for them, too.

That’s what Charm Offensive is all about: getting the attention of busy people.