WARNING: This page is deceptively honest, containing a complete lack of the usual elements any competent marketer would include to cajole you into TAKING ACTION NOW.

Well, I may be a marketer, but I’ll be damned if anyone calls me a competent one!

I've been involved in the world of digital business for 18 years. In that time, people have often told me I'm not doing the things "the right way", and for exactly the same amount of time, I've been taking no notice. 


Welcome to what is allegedly the sales letter for my disarming copywriting course, Have Your Way With Words.

I’ve been putting off writing this damned thing.


I think it’s because I’m afraid it’s not gonna work.


My plan is to write a landing page devoid of hype. I want to tell the truth and nothing but the truth, and a few jokes because I have a problem. I can't resist. I have a sickness!


And if this honest page doesn’t work, I’m going to be faced with the reality, that you, the customer, deep down, isn’t sold on honest sales letters. 


You want hype. 


You want me to say something like:

Imagine if you could write copy so disarming, entertaining and captivating, that people will respond to your cold emails, share your delectable content, and have strangers and strange friends alike come up to you in the street and ask:

"Oh my gosh, Cornelius*, when did you become such an incredible writer?! Is there some kind of online course or something you took? You can really tell the difference! Money well spent!" 

*For best results, change "Cornelius" to your own name when picturing the above scenario.

I can’t do it.

I can't write hypey copy.

I'd rather beat my skin wafer thin with a meat tenderiser... and I'm absolutely terrified you're going to force me into it.

So here we are. I'm violating pretty much every possible rule for writing sales letters with reckless abandon, hoping you'll summon the courage to join me on this rebellious journey. And by "join me on this rebellious journey", I mean "hand me your hard earned money as soon as possible without hesitation."

Ok. Enough frivolity and prevaricating for a moment...

I guess I should tell you what this course is all about.

Would you like that?

"yeah, I guess so" I hear you SCREAM!

This course will help you become become a more entertaining writer.

You don’t have to change who you are.

You don’t have to become silly or contrived.

You can be yourself and use what you learn to create your own style that is congruent with who you are.

This is a skill that will complement every other skill you have.

This skill isn't one that's 'nice to have'.

It's a MASSIVE unfair advantage against the competition.

Everyone is creating content these days...

There’s so much noise.

Substance is important.

But it’s style that separates you from the pack…

Form follows function. Style follows substance.

People will listen to your ideas if you can write copy that your audience enjoy reading.

You'll be able to mash the right keys on your keyboard and make potential customers across the globe smirk, smile or laugh out like a crazy person.

In this era of social media, being able to get and maintain peoples' attention is an incredibly valuable skill.

A skill that enables you to give others a nice feeling even if they are thousands of miles away.

A skill that makes people remember you.

A skill that makes those same people tell their family, friends and mortal enemies about whatever it is you're working on.

That's powerful. And achievable.

Have Your Way With Words is the rebellious maverick of copywriting courses...

There are plenty of wonderful direct response or general copywriting courses out there.

This course is different and by "different", I don't mean "I'm desperate for a USP and 'different' is the best thing I can come up with". The content is discernibly different.

You won't find a program like this anywhere else. I'll show you how to combine elements and insights from a wide range of disciplines including comedy, fiction and speechwriting to stand out in the world of business.

WARNING: Do not buy this product if:

1. You're someone who says things like "Word of advice: You should be more professional" without a hint of parody.

2. You think smiling, laughing or making feeling people feel good are vastly overrated. (See point 1.)

3. You're foaming at the mouth with rage because I conflated point 2 with point 1.

4. You loathe truth in marketing and advertising.

5. You believe blandness is a quality deserving of reverence.

You should probably buy this product if:

1. You're not an utter cockwomble like those I've described above.

2. You hate the fact that when you get in front of a keyboard, you become the most boring, humourless, bland person imaginable and want to change this.

3. You'd like to add moxie, oomph, cheek, spunk, swagger, sass or chutzpah to your copy.

4. You want to have a MASSIVE unfair advantage over your competition by being able to write copy that stands out.

5. You want the world of business communications to be more human, honest and enjoyable for all.


Which side are you on?

Course Contents


Let's run through what I'm going to teach you.

Module 1 - The Fundamentals Of Comedy


SURPRISE!!! This session introduces the key principles of comedy.

Module 2 - Formulas That Produce Funny


This module goes into detail on all of the little clever tricks and nuances you can use in your copy to misdirect the reader and make them laugh out loud like a crazy person.

This includes:

The Reverse

Triples

Triple Reverse

Double Entendres

Incongruity

Superiority

Self Deprecation

Self Referential Humour

Ambivalence

Ambiguity

Paired Phrases

Understatement

Exaggeration

Recognition

Comparison

Misinterpretation

Absurdity

Release

Specificity

Irony

Puns

Comebacks

Callbacks

Caption Humour

Editing Cliches

Playing With Form

When you know the formulas, you can practice them and using them becomes reflexive.

I recommend you use this knowledge to write entertaining copy. I implore you to resist the urge to deconstruct jokes as you watch anything remotely funny with your friends and family. It won't end well.

"Oh My God - That's a lot of stuff! The Overwhelm!" I hear you say.


Don’t worry! You don’t need to master every single technique.

Most people online use none of these techniques.

I only use 5 or 6 regularly.

You find the ones you enjoy writing and have a knack for.

Then you start combining them.

Then you add in your personality.

Then you practice...

Voilà! You have your own style.


Module 3 - Spice Up Your Copy


Not every sentence can be funny but every sentence can be an enjoyable read. This module covers rhetorical and stylistic devices for you to use to spice up copy that would have otherwise been relegated to a life of terminal blandness.

Rhetorical Devices - There's a reason we revere great speeches. We look at some of the rhetorical devices they use and how you can apply them to make your copy more profound and rememberable.

Stylistic Tricks - Practice these and before you know it... BANG! You'll be writing sickly sweet sentences that seduce anyone lucky enough to be reading them.

Module 4 - Creating Your Own Style


You need to write copy that is congruent with your personality. There's no point writing in a way that makes you uncomfortable or doesn't represent who you are. This module focuses on creating your own style that's unique to you.

How to Weaponise Your Personality - We've covered the technical elements. Now we add 'you' to the mix. This session will show you how.

Making Your Stories Funny - How to talk about your life experiences and inject a healthy dose of humour.

Module 5 - How To Write For Different Media Types


This module will run through how to write for different media types, providing examples and analysis.

Articles That Amuse - "Please god, I don't want to write another '7 top secrets' article." You don't have to. Those days are over after this session.

Strategic Satire - Got an opinion? Want to prove that other people on the Internet are wrong? This session will show you how to use satire to put those wrong people in their place in the smartest, smuggest, and most satisfying way possible.

Cold Pitching That Doesn't Absolutely Suck - Learn how to write to important strangers and have them respond with "Oh my god, I loved your email! We should be business friends. How do we work together?" instead of "NEVER EVER EMAIL ME AGAIN, YOU FILTHY MISCREANT!"

Palatable Social Media Ads - Want to advertise on Facebook (or another social network)? Don't want to become another one of those obnoxious douchebags that interrupt your newsfeed with their trite nonsense? This session is for you.

Broadcast Emails That Don't Make You Hate Yourself - Learn how to write disarming emails that educate, entertain, and sell without having to type sentences that make you think "Ughhhhh! Where did I go wrong in my life? I'm not the person I thought I was. I should just end it all right now. "

Social Media Content That Sells Without Sleaze - Similar to writing broadcast emails but the platform is different. As such, the approach is a little different too.

Social Media Content That Educates and Entertains - Teach your audience without boring them to death and find yourself on the receiving end of a delectable cocktail of likes, haha-reacts and pleasant comments.

Module 6 - Writing Exercises


Practice makes perfect, or at least, competent. This module contains 15 fun exercises to build your confidence and style while nobody is watching. (Unless you're into that kinda thing, you kinkster!)

Template Pack


You'll get a complete set of templates that provide you with the structure you need to easily create your own articles, blog posts, satirical content, cold emails, direct mail pieces, social media ads, broadcast emails and social media content.

You'll get to see the full structure for each type of content, with recommendations of the joke formulas, rhetorical devices and other little tricks you can choose to use or completely ignore, you damn rebel!

The template pack will come complete with completed examples of type of content to make it easier for you to understand how all the pieces fit together.

Have Your Way With Words - Private Facebook Group


I'll be creating a private Facebook Group for those who purchase the middle and top end packages.

The group will have a positive, friendly atmosphere where you can practice your craft, get feedback, and help others.

1-2-1 Coaching


1-2-1 sessions are one hour long. You submit your copy. I provide recommendations. We run through them on the call. You ask any questions you want.

For the top end package, you will also have access to me over email and messenger for 3 months. If you insist, I will pester you, regularly emailing you to demand you send me your attempts at disarming copy.

The size of my font will increase with each ignored email. As will the creativity of my insults. You have been warned!

"WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET TO THE PRICE, JON?!? HURRY UP! I HAVEN'T GOT ALL FAFFING DAY."

Alright, pottymouth.

As you wish...

Limited Beta Launch Pricing

This course won't be available for this price again. Get in before the prices go up!

JUST THE TIPS

$

290

For toe-dippers with a fear of missing out

Access to every training session and the replays:

Module 1: The Fundamentals of Comedy

Module 2: Formulas That Produce Funny

Module 3: Spice Up Your Copy

Module 4: Creating Your Own Style

Module 5: How To Write For Different Media Types

Module 6: Writing Exercises

HELPING HAND

$

490

"I'm not a cheapskate. I'll buy the middle level package!"

Access to every training session and the replays:

Module 1: The Fundamentals of Comedy

Module 2: Formulas That Produce Funny

Module 3: Spice Up Your Copy

Module 4: Creating Your Own Style

Module 5: How To Write For Different Media Types

Module 6: Writing Exercises

I WILL MAKE YOU FUNNY IF IT'S THE LAST FUCKING THING I DO

$

990

"This better work, mate. It costs a $1000. You're not fooling anyone making it $10 cheaper."

Access to every training session and the replays:

Module 1: The Fundamentals of Comedy

Module 2: Formulas That Produce Funny

Module 3: Spice Up Your Copy

Module 4: Creating Your Own Style

Module 5: How To Write For Different Media Types

Module 6: Writing Exercises

Limited Enrolment. 


Cart Closes In:

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ADDITIONAL BONUSES:

 

In lieu of the many persuasive elements missing from this page, I'm going to bribe you with a plethora of bonuses. You're welcome.

 

Letters of Note - Collection of interesting letters from all over history, with some notes on the devices they employ. (Valued at $19)


Challenger Brand Starter Pack - An analysis of some of the better marketing from challenger brands. (Valued at $99)


Jon's Joke Cheat Sheet - This guide will outline the formulas I use regularly and real life examples of how I use them. (Valued at $99)


A Warm, Fuzzy Feeling For Helping Me Make A Living Doing What I Love - I would love to do this for a living. Purchasing this course will help me achieve that aim. You may or may not get a warm feeling out of this! ( Valued at: PRICELESS / $0)


Dangggg! 


$19 - Letters of Note

+

$99 - Challenger Brand Starter Pack

+

$99 - Jon's Joke Cheat Sheet

+

$0 - The All Important Warm Fuzzy Feeling


= $217 in additional value at no extra charge!


Better than a punch in the tusks!

30 Day Better Than Money Back Guarantee

  • check
    Get your money back within 30 days of purchase with any reason. No questions asked. Other than 'Would you please reconsider? Go oonnnn..."
  • Ok. Ok. I won't even ask that question. 
  • You can even keep the course materials and bonuses. I know this opens me up to some of the craftier among you purchasing the course, genuinely benefting from it, and then asking for a refund anyway. What can I say? I'm a thrill seeking risk taker who throws caution to the wind. 

Testimonials


I have a ton of testimonials relating to my other courses. This is a new program, so I hope to include your testimonial here soon.


However, here are a few I feel relevant. Only one is completely fabricated. I'll leave you to figure out which one this is.

Finally, my secret weapon.

If this smug sales letter hasn't convinced you should purchase Have Your Way With Words by now, the following video should do the trick.


BE WARNED: It contains a plethora of subtle mind control tricks that would persuade even the most ardent cynic to open their wallets.

Let me save you a scroll...


Come on, you know you must enroll!

Have no idea who I am? Check out the Charm Offensive Facebook Group. You'll more than likely not regret it.


If only I were competent enough to write a good callback joke.