WARNING: This page is deceptively honest, containing a complete lack of the usual elements any competent marketer would include to cajole you into TAKING ACTION NOW.
Well, I may be a marketer, but I’ll be damned if anyone calls me a competent one!
I've been involved in the world of digital business for 18 years. In that time, people have often told me I'm not doing the things "the right way", and for exactly the same amount of time, I've been taking no notice.
Welcome to what is allegedly the sales letter for my disarming copywriting course, Have Your Way With Words.
I’ve been putting off writing this damned thing.
I think it’s because I’m afraid it’s not gonna work.
My plan is to write a landing page devoid of hype. I want to tell the truth and nothing but the truth, and a few jokes because I have a problem. I can't resist. I have a sickness!
And if this honest page doesn’t work, I’m going to be faced with the reality, that you, the customer, deep down, isn’t sold on honest sales letters.
You want hype.
You want me to say something like:
“Oh my gosh, Cornelius*, When did you become such an incredible writer?! Is there some kind of online course or something you took? You can really tell the difference! Money well spent!”
*For best results, change "Cornelius" to your own name when picturing the above scenario.
I can't write hypey copy.
So here we are. I'm violating pretty much every possible rule for writing sales letters with reckless abandon, hoping you'll summon the courage to join me on this rebellious journey. And by "join me on this rebellious journey", I mean "hand me your hard earned money as soon as possible without hesitation."
Ok. Enough frivolity and prevaricating for a moment...
I guess I should tell you what this course is all about.
Would you like that?
"yeah, I guess so" I hear you SCREAM!
This course will help you become become a more entertaining writer.
You don’t have to change who you are.
You don’t have to become silly or contrived.
You can be yourself and use what you learn to create your own style that is congruent with who you are.
This is a skill that will complement every other skill you have.
This skill isn't one that's 'nice to have'.
It's a MASSIVE unfair advantage against the competition.
Everyone is creating content these days...
There’s so much noise.
Substance is important.
But it’s style that separates you from the pack…
Form follows function. Style follows substance.
People will listen to your ideas if you can write copy that your audience enjoy reading.
You'll be able to mash the right keys on your keyboard and make potential customers across the globe smirk, smile or laugh out like a crazy person.
In this era of social media, being able to get and maintain peoples' attention is an incredibly valuable skill.
A skill that enables you to give others a nice feeling even if they are thousands of miles away.
A skill that makes people remember you.
A skill that makes those same people tell their family, friends and mortal enemies about whatever it is you're working on.
That's powerful. And achievable.
Have Your Way With Words is the rebellious maverick of copywriting courses...
There are plenty of wonderful direct response or general copywriting courses out there.
This course is different and by "different", I don't mean "I'm desperate for a USP and 'different' is the best thing I can come up with". The content is discernibly different.
You won't find a program like this anywhere else. I'll show you how to combine elements and insights from a wide range of disciplines including comedy, fiction and speechwriting to stand out in the world of business.
WARNING: Do not buy this product if:
- You're someone who says things like "Word of advice: You should be more professional" without a hint of parody.
- You think smiling, laughing or making feeling people feel good are vastly overrated. (See point 1.)
- You're foaming at the mouth with rage because I conflated point 2 with point 1.
- You loathe truth in marketing and advertising.
- You believe blandness is a quality deserving of reverence.
You should probably buy this product if:
- You're not an utter cockwomble like those I've described above.
- You hate the fact that when you get in front of a keyboard, you become the most boring, humourless, bland person imaginable and want to change this.
- You'd like to add moxie, oomph, cheek, spunk, swagger, sass or chutzpah to your copy.
- You want to have a MASSIVE unfair advantage over your competition by being able to write copy that stands out.
- You want the world of business communications to be more human, honest and enjoyable for all.
Which side are you on?
Course Contents
Private One to One Coaching
1-2-1 sessions are one hour long. You submit your copy. I provide recommendations. We run through them on the call. You ask any questions you want.
The size of my font will increase with each ignored email. As will the creativity of my insults. You have been warned!
"WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET TO THE PRICE, JON?!? HURRY UP! I HAVEN'T GOT ALL FAFFING DAY."
Alright, pottymouth.
As you wish...
JUST THE TIPS
$290
For toe-dippers with a fear of missing out
Access to every training session:
Module 1: The Fundamentals of Comedy
Module 2: Formulas That Produce Funny
Module 3: Spice Up Your Copy
Module 4: Creating Your Own Style
Module 5: How To Write For Different Media Types
Module 6: Writing Exercises
HELPING HAND
$490
"I'm not a cheapskate. I'll buy the middle level package!"
Access to every training session:
Module 1: The Fundamentals of Comedy
Module 2: Formulas That Produce Funny
Module 3: Spice Up Your Copy
Module 4: Creating Your Own Style
Module 5: How To Write For Different Media Types
Module 6: Writing Exercises
Template Pack:
Articles That Amuse
Strategic Satire
Cold Pitches That Don't Absolutely Suck
Palatable Social Media Ads
Broadcast Emails That Don't Make You Hate Yourself
Social Media Content That Sells Without Sleaze
Social Media Content That Entertains and Educates
Coaching:
Access to Private "Have Your Way With Words" Group & Group Mentoring
One 1-2-1 Copy Review Session with Jon (Skype/Zoom) - I will review your copy and provide recommendations on how to improve.
I WILL MAKE YOU FUNNY IF IT'S THE LAST FUCKING THING I DO
$990
"This better work, mate. It costs a $1000. You're not fooling anyone making it $10 cheaper."
Access to every training session:
Module 1: The Fundamentals of Comedy
Module 2: Formulas That Produce Funny
Module 3: Spice Up Your Copy
Module 4: Creating Your Own Style
Module 5: How To Write For Different Media Types
Module 6: Writing Exercises
Template Pack:
Articles That Amuse
Strategic Satire
Cold Pitches That Don't Absolutely Suck
Palatable Social Media Ads
Broadcast Emails That Don't Make You Hate Yourself
Social Media Content That Sells Without Sleaze
Social Media Content That Entertains and Educates
Coaching:
Access to Private "Have Your Way With Words" Group & Group Mentoring
Access to Jon for 3 months over email and messenger.
Jon will pester you in hilarious and unusual ways to get you to practice your craft!
Three 1-2-1 Skype/Zoom Sessions with Jon.
100% MONEY BACK GUARANTEE
Get your money back within 30 days of purchase with any reason. No questions asked. Other than 'Would you please reconsider? Go oonnnn..."
Ok. Ok. I won't even ask that question.
You can even keep the course materials and bonuses. I know this opens me up to some of the craftier among you purchasing the course,
genuinely benefting from it, and then asking for a refund anyway. What can I say? I'm a thrill seeking risk taker who throws caution to the wind.
Testimonials
However, here are a few I feel relevant. Only one is completely fabricated. I'll leave you to figure out which one this is.
Finally, my secret weapon.
BE WARNED: It contains a plethora of subtle mind control tricks that would persuade even the most ardent cynic to open their wallets.