Do you need to win new clients?

Do you need to get busy people to respond to you and say 'yes' to your requests?

If so, read on.

I ran a digital marketing agency and about a year in, my word of mouth leads dried up.

I was desperate for sales and I dealt with that in the only way us Brits know how... I got blind drunk.

... In that time, I decided to write the most absurd cold email I could.

I was still tipsy enough in the morning to think it was a good idea to send my email to Marketing Directors, CEOs and other senior people at some of the world's largest brands and corporations.

To my amazement, it worked.

Take a look at these screenshots.

These are the result of a my desperate, drunk cold email.

There's more where that came from. I've saved them all. This might show my insecurity somewhat!

I’ve met with senior decision makers at RedBull, Pepsi, Symantec, Hewlett-Packard, Cisco, HSBC, Barclays, and countless other global brands, exciting start-ups and SMEs.

It turns out B2B doesn't have to mean Boring-2-Boring!

Take a look...

I’ve used this same style to get senior editors at large publications such as Yahoo Business,,, Channel4 News, The Independent, Time Magazine, and many more to respond to me and publish my clients' content.

The screenshot below is from the former editor of Venture Beat, Dylan Tweeney.

This tech publication gets millions of visitors per month.

I needed to get my biggest client, Symantec, some PR coverage.

We would have lost them as a client otherwise.

I went into work on a Saturday morning and sent Dylan an email.

It worked.

We got the coverage we needed.

A few years later, I was messaging Dylan on Skype and he sent me this message.

He remembered my pitch - even after 4 years!

I've used it to invite myself onto podcasts such as Kevin Rogers' "The Truth About Marketing" podcast.

I've used it to get people to my clients' events and seminars.

I’ve used it to help my friends get as many job interviews as they need.

Back in March last year, I started my Facebook Group, Charm Offensive, and started showing people my weird way of generating opportunities whenever I wanted.

Here's a few more screenshots for you.

This time let's show some results from people who took my advice...

Please, do enjoy some success stories:

You can get results like these.

And you can get them immediately.

Just grab my templates.

Start using them.

Start waking up to an inbox full of compliments and new opportunities.

Introducing My B2B Magic Charming Copy Template Pack

The right words in the right order to the right people can get you anywhere in life.

In business, we have to make a lot of asks.

My brand new b2b magic charming template pack can help you make those asks in the most effective way possible.

This pack includes effective templates for:

  • Booking sales calls & meetings with even the busiest, most senior contacts.
  • Inviting yourself onto podcasts that your audience listens to.
  • Reconnecting with old clients to try and get repeat business.
  • Getting the attention of influencers to promote you or your clients products, or just to make yourself known.
  • Following up with a prospect hasn’t replied to your proposal, without seeming ‘pushy’ or desperate.
  • Sending direct messages on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Instagram that stand out and get responded to.
  • Following up with prospects you’ve met at events, seminars, or meet ups.
  • Booking as many job interviews as you need.
  • Contacting journalists for link building, PR, or content marketing purposes.
  • Inviting prospects to your events, seminars, and meet ups.
  • Breaking the ice with potential partners with the aim of developing mutually beneficial relationships, e.g. You may run a digital marketing agency and wish to partner with a design agency so you can refer clients to each other.
  • Arranging interviews with sought-after experts in your industry.
  • Booking yourself speaking engagements at key events.
  • Retaining more clients with a monthly ‘How are we doing?” email.
  • Sending that final ‘break up’ email of your sequence that charms even the busiest, most reluctant prospect into replying.
  • Dealing with the response "What will it cost?" when you need far more information to be able to put a quote together.
  • Getting your foot in the door in new niches where you have no experience or case studies to support you.
  • The Invoice Chasing Email - Use this email for when a client STILL hasn't paid your invoice. There are two versions of this email. One for smaller businesses with no accounts department and one for larger businesses with enormous impenetrable accounts departments.
  • The Cross Sell Email - For charming your clients into pursuing other services you offer.
  • The Upsell Email - Persuading your clients to spend more money with you by buying more time or offering a higher level of service
  • The Retainer Email - For convincing clients they'd be better off on retainer, rather than working on a project to project basis.
  • The "Crazy Idea" Email - For asking your clients to consider a 'crazy' idea you have that would help them achieve their goals.
  • The "Change of Strategy" Email - For when a campaign hasn't gone as well as you'd expect. You did everything you needed to, but the results aren't as you'd like. Use this email to inform your client and suggest a new direction.
  • The "I Messed Up" Email - Not every campaign can go well. Sometimes, we are at fault. Use this email to proactively own up and suggest ways to improve the situation.
  • The Webinar Invite Email - A humorous, 'non-hype' email that convinces the recipient to register for your webinar.
  • The "Thank You For Being Awesome" Email - Use this email to reward your best employees, freelancers and suppliers for when they've gone above and beyond what's expected.
  • The Two Punch Combo - A template for an unusual direct mail piece and a follow up email. This method is extremely effective for getting the attention of busy prospects who are inundated with emails.
  • The LinkedIn Invite / Follow Up Message Combo - A template to use for sending entertaining LinkedIn connection requests that a follow up disarming direct message.

*** Special Unannounced Bonus Templates ***

Value: £99

In a transparent effort to entice you further, I've added in 5 bonus templates at no additional cost. 

The plucky subscribers of Chris's list who take advantage of this special offer will also be sent following effective charming cold pitch templates:

  • A ridiculously honest cold pitch for when you have loads of knowledge - but no experience. This solves the old ‘experience’ dilemma, while making playful fun of it for your own persuasive benefit.
  • A fawning, gushing email to send to your absolute dream clients that they will struggle to ignore.
  • Offering a brainstorm or audit for the deliberately attention-demanding price of just $1. This diabolically cheeky cold pitch will get attention - and responses.
  • A charm-soaked message to send to gatekeepers (such as executive assistants), to sweet talk them into mentioning you to their boss.
  • A personalised message to send to prospects based on their LinkedIn recommendations.

Download all of my effective templates:

You get 7 awesome bonuses included!

  • Bonus 1: My 'magic cold email training' which runs through one of my most successful cold email templates line by line. VALUE: £199.
  • Bonus 2: My swipe file of awesome, daring, disruptive website copy, emails, guerrilla marketing, direct mail campaigns, pr campaigns and content marketing. VALUE: £14
  • Bonus 3: Content Marketing Strategy Guide. This ebook covers how to create 'big' content that gets featured by huge publications such as,, Yahoo Business, Time Magazine, The Independent and many more. VALUE: £49
  • Bonus 4: How To Be Somewhat Funny. This 51-page guide shows you how to write more entertaining copy, providing you with joke formulas, rhetorical devices, and writing exercises. Value: £99
  • Bonus 5: Promote Yourself Playbook mini training session. This training video runs through 10 quick and easy tactics to generate leads immediately. VALUE: £99
  • Bonus 6: My New "Agency Sales" eBook and Cheat Sheet - I provide prescriptive recommendations on exactly what activity you should be pursuing every day to generate leads. Value: £99
  • Bonus 7: LinkedIn List Building Hack - A crafty little tactic to add hundreds, if not thousands of relevant new subscribers to your list. It's reliable and repeatable. Value: £99

This package normally costs £497.

With the addition of the *Special Unannounced Bonus Templates* worth £99, its value increases to £596

Plus you get £658 worth of bonuses, bringing the total value to: £1,254 / $1,614

You can get your hands on all of this for £120 / $155 as part of this special offer for Consultants In Business members.

Download all of my effective templates.

For those of you who have a mind with a penchant for the conspiratorial, I attach further evidence of my weird ways working below.

This is a recent Facebook memory. I'd completely forgotten I'd about this:

I recently found the original response that Symantec sent in response to my drunk cold email:

To finish off, here are a few recent testimonials that were posted in the Charm Offensive Facebook Group:

Download all of my effective templates: