The Cart Abandonment Sequence that pays for itself… and then some

Most people treat cart abandonment emails like a formal apology from a bank.

Stiff. Boring. Reeking of desperation.

I did something different.

Instead of a robotic “You forgot something in your cart,” I wrote emails that make people smile, snort-laugh, and crucially come back to buy.

This isn’t a swipe file full of soulless templates. This is the exact 3-part cart abandonment sequence I’ve used to win back more sales – by being witty, warm, and just a little bit whimsical.

Why Cart Abandonment Emails Matter

Cart abandonment emails are some of the highest converting emails you’ll ever send. Someone already added something to their basket they’re basically waving their money at you, and you just need to gently take it.

Most people never send them.
Many of those who do?
They send one limp little reminder, then give up.

That’s leaving money on the table.

Why Mine Works Differently

This sequence has been responsible for a lot of recovered sales over the years. But more interestingly – people actually reply to it.

Not to complain. To say it made them laugh.
To say they bought because of the email.
To say: “This is the only cart abandonment email I’ve ever liked.”

That’s because it’s:

✔️ Lighthearted without being cringe
✔️ Self-aware without being try-hard
✔️ Salesy without sounding salesy

What You Get

• 3 funny, friendly, plug-and-play emails
• Designed to send automatically (just copy and paste into your email/ecommerce platform)
• Includes charm, persuasion, and a pinch of wit
• Comes with a proven track record of actually working
  

For Who?

If you sell anything online – digital products, courses, services, physical goods and you’re not recovering abandoned carts with emails like these, you’re almost certainly losing easy sales.

Set this up once. Let it run forever. Reap the rewards of being more charming and persuasive than the competition.

Questions and helpfully, answers:

What exactly am I getting?

You get three charming, copy-and-paste emails you can plug straight into your email system. They’re written to recover abandoned carts in a way that’s funny, disarming, and surprisingly persuasive. Each email builds on the last and is spaced out over a few days.

Will this work for my type of product?

If you sell something online – digital product, course, service, ecomm item, enchanted sword – these will work. The tone is broadly appealing and flexible. I’ve used these for everything from training to templates, and others have adapted them for all sorts.

Can I tweak the copy?

Absolutely. These aren’t sacred texts. You’re encouraged to customise the tone, product details, or subject lines to fit your audience. But if you’re in a rush, you can use them as-is and they’ll still do the job nicely.

Do I need any special software?

You can also set them up directly in your ecommerce platform, like WooCommerce, Shopify, Kajabi, ThriveCart, or whatever basket-holding contraption you use. If it lets you send post-abandonment emails, you’re good to go.

Why are you selling this so cheap?

Because I know people tend to overlook these kinds of automations – even though they’re often the easiest wins. This makes it a no-brainer to set up. Also, I enjoy the idea of your email marketing quietly making more money while you eat toast.