Everyone and their mother tells you “You gotta build an email list,” and they’re right.

If you can build even a small list of engaged subscribers it can become an excellent source of revenue, whether you’re providing one-to-one client services or selling your own ebooks, courses, and other information products.

But how do you convert new subscribers into customers?

Enter The Charming Autoresponder Sequences Template Pack.

When people sign up to your list, you can opt to send them a sequence of emails that introduces you and pitches your products and services. This is known as an ‘autoresponder’ sequence.

And now, finally, there's Charm Offensive style copy for your autoresponder email sequences! Disarm and delight your new opt-in email subscribers, and start conversations with potential new clients.

This pack contains a range of entertaining and persuasive autoresponder sequences designed to:

  • Get new subscribers to hit the reply button, potentially leading to sales calls and new clients.
  • Cajole new subscribers into buying a product such as an ebook.
  • Get new subscribers signing up to a challenge or free Facebook Group.
  • Encourage new subscribers to download and then use a special offer coupon, such as a dentist offering free teeth whitening to get new customers in the door.



l'm productive all of a sudden and have a load of leads out of nowhere since that Damn Jon decided to tell me what to do.

I've inconveniently had to invest in a crm system.

I've just had a meeting which could give me a contract bigger then I can count (assuming I deliver which I will) so now my brain hurts.

Damn you Jon and your simply easy (yet fantastic) ways of communicating with people & getting clients.

If anyone is interested in buying his stuff then you'd be silly to even consider it... I mean who wants such problems in life? It was easier when I was broke. Good day.


What are you waiting for?

Buy now to secure the huge flash sale discount:

£799 £99

What Autoresponder Sequences Are In This Pack?

  • An amusing sequence to generate sales opportunities for freelance marketers, PR professionals, advertising experts, and copywriters.
  • A hysterical sequence for marketing and advertising agencies that offers prospects a free brainstorm session with you and your team.
  • A rapport-building sequence for agency owners that introduces (with charm, of course) each of your team members in each subsequent email.
  • A chortle-worthy sequence for professional services companies (e.g. accountants, lawyers) to generate positive replies and gets prospects to agree to an informal chat.
  • An unorthodox ‘portfolio’ sequence to generate positive prospect responses for graphic designers, illustrators, videographers and other creative professionals.
  • A fun sequence for copywriters to deploy to generate positive responses from prospects and book in sales calls.
  • A “just-the-right-side-of-cheeky” sequence for Google Adwords / Facebook Ad professionals to generate informal chats with prospective clients.
  • An irreverent sequence for developers to deploy to start initial conversations with potential clients.
  • A persuasive but amusing sequence for conversion rate optimisation specialists to ply their wares and generate positive responses from prospects.
  • An unorthodox sequence that pitches an information product, such as an ebook or training course for a discount for a limited time.
  • An endearing sequence for freelance content writers to send to new subscribers, offering them their writing and editing services.
  • A memorable, attention-demanding sequence for wedding photographers to generate positive replies and sales calls.
  • A smile-inducing sequence for dentists to send to new subscribers offering a coupon for a free teeth whitening session.
  • A light-hearted sequence for fitness professionals to encourage their new subscribers to book an initial informal chat regarding one-to-one personal training.
  • A disarming sequence for purveyors of products or services that require a little more sensitivity.

Need More Proof My Templates Work?


Years ago, I once emailed 50 prospects for a lead generation service. I ended up getting around 3 passive-aggressive replies and closed approximately 0 leads. Ever since then, I figured cold emailing wasn't my thing.

Then today, out of the blue, I decided to use Jon's templates to get an ecommerce media buying client. It was just a test, so I only sent out 2 emails to 2 businesses. 1 hour later and I got an ecstatic reply.

This is the type of response I wish I got years ago.

And it was SO easy too!

Copy, paste, modify, send.

I'm super excited and will be continuing to use Jon's templates until I'm too tired of making money.



Just wanted to thank Jon for all his ideas here. Tried my first two cold e-mails. I got an out of office back from one of them, but the other person answered within an hour!

And the answer was POSITIVE and played along with my joke! This was the chief of communications for a huge company answering a silly e-mail from a small local marketing company.

Have you solved life, Jon??



Holy fuck guys. What a week. With Jon's template (customized it a bit to fit my circumstances and so it's more ME) I secured 5 meetings for this past week.

3 of the meetings were with local businesses. Nothing unusual. Happens every week (very kind thank you, Jon).

The other 2 were GIANTS!

One was mid-7-figure ecom. They are global.


One of them was a BILLION dollar company. Mind you I'm 20 and to even step a foot in a company of that volume...

It tickles my balls.

I don't know what to tell you since I gain nothing writing this... But if you want to get more meetings -- you gotta give Jon's template pack a shot.


Wanna start using these templates?

Buy now to secure the huge flash sale discount:

£799 £99



A refreshingly honest “Sign up to my challenge” sequence to encourage your new subscribers to sign up to your free challenge.

Value £150


An anything-but-boring sequence to cajole your new subscribers into registering for a webinar.

Value £150


A sequence for agency owners or freelance professionals to generate sales opportunities that’s based on my original drunk cold email - with modifications to ensure it works for opt-in email marketing.

Value £150


A “reverse auction” style sequence offering customers smaller and smaller discounts the longer it goes on - complete with ominous timer!

Value £150


A sobering, reflective sequence comparing the price of your offer to increasingly ridiculous goods and services.

Value £150


Charming techniques to grow your list. This succinct but information-heavy mini guide will provide you with a range of tactics you can use to promote your lead magnet and get more people onto your email list.

Value £99

Total Value Of Pack

The Charming Autoresponder Sequence Pack - £799

Bonus Sequence 1 - £150

Bonus Sequence 2 - £150

Bonus Sequence 3 - £150

Bonus Sequence 4 - £150

Bonus Sequence 5 - £150

Bonus List Building Guide - £99

Total Value - £1,648

Get this pack for just £99 while the launch offer is on.

Frequently Asked Questions

  • Why should I get this pack?

    You’ve seen how effective charm style copy has been in the world of cold pitching.

    It’s time to bring the charm to opt-in email marketing. 

    Instead of using a bland autoresponder sequence that doesn’t even get read, you can deploy one that will make your prospects smirk, smile, or laugh out loud - and then hit the reply button, or book a sales call.

  • How do I use these templates?

    Autoresponder email sequences are sent to your new email subscribers upon opt-ing in to your mailing list. Usually, after being tempted by whatever lead magnet you’ve promised them. 

    You can use these sequences as inspiration for your own - or you can just copy and paste them completely. I’d prefer it if you did try to tailor them a little and make them your own - but ultimately, this is your decision.

    Most email marketing platforms (e.g. ConvertKit, Mailchimp) will have functionality built in for sending autoresponder sequences. You simply have to copy and paste these templates - and then amend them as you deem fit.

  • Do I need a lead magnet to use these templates?

    You will do, yes.

    If you don’t have one right now, that’s OK. However, you will need to create one as most of these templates are built based around the assumption that you’ll be using a lead magnet to grow your list. The first email in nearly all of the sequences are focused around delivering the promised lead magnet (Ebook, video, cheat sheet - or whatever it may be.) 
  • How are these different to your other templates?

    These are not cold pitch templates.

    These sequences are to be sent to new opt-in email subscribers to your mailing list. I’ve never released a pack of autoresponder email sequences before. This is the first one.
  • Do I have these templates already?

    Nope. Not unless you’re a time traveller from the future (or you bought the pre-sale offer of this pack). 

Optional Extra: Lead Magnet Templates

Upon adding this pack to your cart, you'll be offered the opportunity to purchase a pack of 3 easy to use Lead Magnet templates.

Simply add in your content, your logo, and other pertinent details... and walah! You have a professional looking lead magnet.

If you order today, you can get this pack of 3 professional lead magnet templates for £19 instead of the full price of £99.

What are you waiting for?

Buy now to secure the huge flash sale discount:

£799 £99


PROOF that Jon Buchan's stuff works even in difficult, hard-to-sell b2b niches. One of my agency clients generated 3 appointments in 1 week all from a modified version of his carefully-crafted and closely-guarded* cold email sequence.

*Upon further research however, I understand that depositing funds electronically to Jon's bank account via credit card or paypal will unlock these secrets for you...


JON BUCHAN  //  Founder, Charm Offensive

A good few years ago, I was desperate for sales after my word of mouth work dried up.

I got hellishly drunk one night and wrote a completely absurd cold email. I was still tipsy the next morning and decided it was still a good idea to send it to pretty senior Marketing Directors at big brands.

To my astonishment, it worked. I got the most amazing complimentary responses and requests for calls/meetings, from senior decision makers at RedBull, Pepsi, Symantec, Hewlett-Packard, HSBC, Barclays and countless other global brands. Symantec and Hewlett Packard became clients.

All because of a crazy cold pitch.

I decided to start teaching others my unorthodox approach to cold pitching. People listened to my weird advice and found that it worked for them, too.

That's what Charm Offensive is all about: getting the attention of busy people.

Jon Buchan

Copyright 2020 Logical Absurdity Ltd T/A Charm Offensive.