Outrageously creative direct mail templates that will get the attention of busy prospects and get them to respond!

With more and more competition in the inbox, sending a physical direct mail letter will help your pitch get read.

Direct mail has been one of my favourite ways of getting the attention of busy prospects.

With so many focused on reaching prospects online through cold email or cold DMs, it makes wise strategic sense to go ‘old school’ and send something in the post. There’s a lot less competition there.

However, if you send something boring, it’s still going to be ineffective. It’ll likely get opened, but if the contents are boring and uninspired, it’ll be thrown in the bin as quickly as it’d be deleted from their inbox.

If you can be creative and entertaining, you can get incredible results.

I can attest to this personally. When I started sending the drunk cold email and having a ton of success with it, I asked myself “How do I increase my response rates further?”

I was very green to this stuff at the time. An appropriate answer would have been “Send a follow-up sequence”. Thankfully, my lack of knowledge became an advantage. I went another route.

I thought “I’ll send the drunk cold email as a letter, and then follow up on email a few days later.”

When I started sending the letters out, I found immediate success.

Many prospects got in touch directly – meaning they manually typed my email address out and sent me an email – or they called me.

The drunk cold email included a picture of a ferret wearing fancy dress.

In the letter version, the copy was nearly identical. However, rather than just printing the ferret picture, I had loads of Colin The Ferret stickers made and included them with the letter.

Some prospects even posted about the letter / the ferret sticker on Twitter!

5 days after sending the letters, I’d send a follow-up email to any prospects who hadn’t replied with the subject line “Sorry for the ferret in the post.”

Those follow-up emails had 80% open rates – and earned me a ton more positive responses.

And yes, the follow-up email was charming and funny too!

These aren’t the types of responses you’d expect to get from cold approaches. Even positive ones aren’t usually as enthusiastic as these!

Enter The Charming Direct Mail Template Pack

This BRAND NEW pack contains 10 Charming Direct Mail Templates – each with their own follow-up email template to send 4 days after you’ve send the direct mail piece in the post.

You send something ridiculous.

Something tactile. Irresistible. Shareable.

And – crucially – something that actually sells.

This pack helps you:

• Bypass inbox fatigue and bland brand syndrome
  
• Start real conversations with dream clients
  
• Get remembered, shared, and discussed internally
  
• Convert “that was funny” or “that was clever and got my attention” into “let’s book a call”
  
• Show off your strategic chops without sounding needy

What templates are in this pack?

Each direct mail template comes with:

• A link to a Canva file for the direct mail piece that you can save and then amend to your needs and print.
  
• A charming letter to accompany the direct mail piece, informing the recipient of your contact details and that a follow-up email will be arriving in their inbox in a few days.
  
• A follow-up email to send to prospects 4 days after you send the direct mail piece.

The Templates

The WANTED Poster
You’re on the hunt for dream clients, and this printable poster makes that hilariously clear. It lists what you’re looking for in a partner and what you bring to the table, with a mix of real, valuable traits and refreshingly honest, funny ones. It’s part job spec, part dating profile, part shameless flirt.

The £0 Invoice
An official-looking invoice for exactly zero pounds, charged for a generous helping of ideas, insights, and recommendations. The catch? They only get the goods if they agree to a call. Charm disguised as admin. Paperwork with a wink.

The Report Card
A school-style audit of their current marketing, copywriting, or advertising efforts, complete with grades, cheeky remarks, and thoughtful suggestions. No red pen required, but bonus points if you include a gold star or a smiley sticker.

The Future Newspaper Article
A newspaper front page from the near future, reporting on their company’s meteoric success shortly after hiring you. A charming dose of speculative journalism and strategic flattery, disguised as prophecy.

The Cold Call Bingo Card
A bingo card full of buzzwords, clichés, and salesy nonsense clients hear all day (“synergy”, “low-hanging fruit”, “just circling back…”). You send it with a letter saying: “I’m different. I don’t talk like this. I promise.”

The Drunk Cold Email (Direct Mail Edition)
My infamous cold email, reimagined for print. Comes with a ferret sticker template (naturally) and the charming follow-up email that helped me book meetings with global brands, ambitious start-ups, and people with an actual sense of humour.

The Cease and Desist Letter
An amusing fake legal notice accusing the recipient of committing Crimes Against Creativity. You offer them a plea deal: hire you and redeem their marketing soul. Equal parts ridiculous and persuasive.

The Ransom Note
A deliberately ridiculous ransom note announcing that you’ve kidnapped their underperforming marketing strategy. If they want results back safely, they’ll need to cooperate with you. No scissors or magazines required.

The Bribe Letter (with Cakes)
A sweet and shameless bribe, literally. You send a box of treats to a department and include a disarming letter that sparks conversation and office buzz. You will be discussed around the kettle. In a good way.

The Handwritten Letter
So simple it’s disarming. A handwritten note explaining exactly why you ditched email and sent a physical letter instead. Honest, upfront, and impossible to ignore. Comes with optional “my handwriting is bad but my ideas are good” disclaimer.

Why Physical Mail Persuades Better Than Digital

If you’ve not been cajoled to purchase the Charming Direct Mail Template Pack based on the creative ideas and my own success, here’s some additional reasons you should consider making the financially prudent decision of clicking one of the many large, obnoxious BUY NOW buttons on this page:

The Endowment Effect
When someone physically holds something, even briefly, they start to feel ownership of it. This is a well-documented cognitive bias. People place more value on things they feel they already possess. If your mail is framed like a proposal, idea, or personalised item, they start to “own” the concept. That makes a yes more likely.

Tactile Engagement
Touch increases emotional processing. Physical mail involves texture, weight, movement, even sound (for example, unfolding a letter). These multi-sensory elements are processed in different parts of the brain than digital messages. This makes the message more deeply encoded in memory.

Neurological Impact
A study by Millward Brown found that physical media left a deeper footprint in the brain. Participants showed more activity in the areas associated with emotional processing and memory when shown physical rather than digital ads. Specifically, the ventral striatum and hippocampus lit up more.

Scarcity and Novelty
People receive very few physical letters these days, especially ones that are interesting or funny. As a result, they are perceived as rare. Scarcity increases perceived value. Novelty increases attention.

Interruptive but welcome
An email arrives alongside dozens of others. A letter usually arrives on its own. Physical mail interrupts someone’s workday in a completely different way. It takes them out of their flow, but in a way that feels thoughtful, deliberate, and personal. You can’t click away from a piece of paper.

Extended Exposure Time
People often glance at emails, skim them, or never open them at all. But when someone opens physical mail, the average engagement time is longer. Even if they don’t act right away, they may leave it on their desk, see it again the next day, or pass it to a colleague. This slow-burn visibility increases recall.

Reciprocity and perceived effort
When you send something through the post, especially if it’s creative, people feel the effort. That often triggers a feeling of “I should at least reply.” Behavioural economics 101: people are more likely to reciprocate effort with effort.

Frequently Asked Questions (and, helpfully, answers)

Q: What exactly am I getting in this pack?
You’re getting 8 outrageously creative direct mail templates – each paired with a) a charming letter and b) a follow-up email to send 4–5 days later.

Q: Will these work in my industry?
If your industry involves humans with a sense of humour, curiosity, or inbox fatigue – yes. These templates have worked for freelancers, agencies, consultants, software companies, and even the odd accountant. (Though they did panic slightly at the “Cease & Desist” one.)

Q: Do I have to send physical letters? Can’t I just use the emails?
Sure, for some of these, you could just send an email and attach the direct mail element. However, the magic is in the combination. The letter gets attention because it’s physical, unexpected, and different. The follow-up email lands with 10x the impact because they remember you. One-two punch. Delight, then convert.

Q: What if I can’t design stuff?
No problem. All of these templates have been designed for you. All you need to do is open Canva / Google Docs. You will, of course, need access to a printer.

Q: Are these just for solo operators? Or can teams use them too?
Teams, soloists, small agencies, large agencies, people who’ve just rage-quit an in-house job and want revenge in the form of charming client acquisition… the templates are flexible and customisable. Use them as-is, or as creative springboards for your own mischief.

Q: What’s the best way to use them?
Pick one that fits your vibe. Print it. Post it. Set a reminder to send the follow-up email in 4–5 days. Then wait for the “This was brilliant – let’s talk” emails to roll in. Bonus points if they post about your creative direct mail attempts on social media!

Q: Is this legal?
The cakes may technically count as a bribe. A delicious, team-bonding, conversation-starting bribe.

Q: When will the downloads be ready?
The pack will be ready by 18th July. You’ll get an email about with a link to download the pack.